Building Your Child’s Self Esteem

by Mary B. McMillan, LCSW, ACSW

To be successful in life it is essential to have a healthy self-esteem and a positive self-concept. Such characteristics contribute to developing:

• integrity
• responsibility
• honesty
• self-respect
• respect for others
• trustworthiness
• honesty
• motivation to develop and pursue goals
• pride in accomplishments
• happiness
• social skills
• meaning in life
• self-efficacy
• positive coping skills
• satisfaction
• positive attitude

The beliefs children learn about themselves in childhood continue to affect them as adults and parents are the primary influence in promoting and helping their child to develop these characteristics. It is essential that you instill and enhance these characteristics so that your child can make good decisions and grow into a productive member of society.

Children who contribute to society increase their self-esteem and sense of self-worth. To set your child off on the right path, talk to them about their interests and what is important to them and then contact your local United Way who can provide you with a list of local agencies which may have volunteer opportunities that suit your child’s interests.

Some possible volunteer opportunities include:

• Volunteering at a local nursing home, homeless shelter or animal shelter.
• Raising money for a charity.
• Helping a neighbor.
• Habitat for Humanity builds houses to help individuals who are living in poverty or homeless.
• American Red Cross provides community services which helps those in need.
• Volunteering as a tutor or with a local literacy program to help individuals learn how to read and write.
• Election Assistance Commission needs volunteers to help at the polls and candidates need volunteers to get their name, cause and slogans to the voters.
• Hospitals and libraries have various volunteer opportunities.
• National Junior Firefighter Program provides fire departments with additional help in non-firefighting and non-emergency activities.
• The City of Aurora Youth Court has opportunities to be a volunteer in the City of Aurora’s Youth Court as a juror.  The volunteers judge and sentence their peers who are in trouble with the police for the first time for non-violent offenses.

Talk to your child, ask for their ideas and look for opportunities to involve them in the community.  You might even look for volunteer opportunities that both you and your child (or whole family) can participate in together.

By tapping into your child’s strengths and interests and finding ways they can contribute to society you will not only increase their self-esteem and self-confidence but will develop a stronger bond with your child and enhance your relationship while promoting their independence.  Your child will achieve a sense of responsibility and self-confidence which they will carry on into adulthood.

About the Author: Mary B. McMillan is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice.  She has a Masters Degree in Social Work from George Williams College School of Social Work at Aurora University.   Mary has been providing mental health care services to clients for 32 years.  She provides individual, family, group and couples therapy to children, adolescents, and adults. Her office is located at 143 First Street, Suite 202, Batavia, IL.  To contact Mary she can be reached by phone at 630-399-2935.  For more information you can visit her website at www.marymcmillan.com